Saving her Soul
by writeratheart007
Summary: Snape broke her soul, now he has to put her together, before he loses her... to death.   M Rating in later chapters


**Flashback**

"Damn you, Hermoine! I trusted you! You made me love you, You made me trust in you and then you make me believe you DIED! What the fucking hell is wrong with you! That's it! I don't ever want to see your face again. Pack your shit! Get out! Get the fuck out of my life! NOW!" Those long fingers clenched into a tight fist that shook uncontrollably as the black eyes of her lover, her once professor bored into her as if she were one of the dunderheads he taught at Hogwarts.

"Please. Severus. You don't underst-" Struggling to reach up to touch his face, her chocolate brown eyes filling with horror and tears as he knocked her hand away hard enough for her to hear it pop. Ignoring the pain that ran up her arm.

Unable to do anything, she watched as he spun and stalked out of the house, slamming the door so hard, that it rattled the windows. Standing there for a long moment as she looked down at her now swelling wrist in shock even as tears ran down her cheeks unknowingly. Suddenly she was on the floor on her knees, sobbing so loud and hard, there was a rumbling sound from every room with a body in it. All of them staring at her with a gobsmacked expression.

It was only Minerva who walked forward, tears running down her own cheeks as she whispered softly. "Hermoine, oh my dear child. Please forgive me, this is all my fault. If I hadn't of... I should have told him. I'm so sorry." Struggling to try and make sure she reached out to touch the girls shoulder, but there was no responce.

It was Harry who stalked his way forward and without asking just grabbed on to his best friend, pulling her into his muscular chest and hugged her for all it's worth. It was then that Ginny made the yell, "Her wrist!" And that's when Minerva, the mother of them all. Snapped.

Again the door slammed, her wand out as she went to go and deal with the 'son' she'd brought up after all these years. He was going to listen if she had to tie him to the ceiling and silence him herself.

But, what she didn't see was Hermoine struggling out of Harry's arms, looking around her at everyone and shaking her head. "I don't deserve to be forgiven." None of them got out anything as her sobbed out whisper, "I'm sorry" came at the same time as her apparating pop made her disappear before anyone could reach her. The entire room of people staring in shock at the spot where she had stood. They all knew one thing, if she didn't want to be found. She wouldn't be.

Mineva's making it to Hogwarts wasn't just heard by everyone on the grounds, it was felt as well. The moment her feet touched the ground, the entire castle shook with her rage, and for a brief moment Snape knew fear of having pissed off the biggest mother bear of them all. Even Molly Weasley paled in comparison. Sitting on the floor in front of his couch, he stared down at the bottle in his hands, having already tossed back half of it. Tears running down his own cheeks, as he stared at the ring that rested on the ebony coffee table in front of him.

That's how she found him, not even looking up when she as Headmaster broke every single one of his wards with a single flick of her wand. Pausing in the doorway she just looked at the man who was wallowing in his own self pity. Saying nothing to him, she moved to the kitchen with a stalking stomp that was sure to make sure he knew she was still there. Taking a bunch of water lilies from a bowl, she put them into another. Ice cold water being the first thing he got from her as a way of a greeting.

Sputttering and throwing his bottle of firewhiskey over his shoulder in shock he yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO-" But he didn't get the chance to finish as the old woman for the first time in his life, reached out and slapped him across the face.

Stopping in shock at the fact she'd just struck him, he sat back down rubbing his cheek. Droping the bowl on the table, she said nothing, just put her ward to her temple, concentrated and pulled out four different strands of memory. Placing them all in the bowl before crossing her arms over her chest.

Saying nothing, he just stared at the bowl for a long moment before leaning over slowly to begin to stare, letting himself be pulled into the bowl with that familiar tugging and twisting sensation of his consciousness. It was there he found the horror of just what he'd done.

Everything from the day of the attack, how Hermoine was found, and how they without asking her, moved her to his Manor since he never went there anymore. She'd woken up and begged, pleaded and then threatened. For her own safety they'd taken her wand away, Dobby had been there to care for her, but he'd been given his instructions. She wasn't to leave. She'd been given an enchantment on her mirror so she could watch anyone she wanted to in Hogwarts. Which explained why he kept feeling like someone was looking over his shoulder all the time.

Watching how every single time they checked on her, she kept threatening, and even tried bribing them. Even going so far as to try and get Harry drunk and try and half heartedly seduce him to try and get out of there. Then he saw Hermoine on her knees in the study where he'd left her. Sobbing as if her very soul were breaking. Watching as Harry held her, as he watched the light of hope that she'd kept all through that year, die out in her eyes. Her wrist that he thought he'd just knocked away, swollen and already turning black from the break he must have caused.

The moment he pulled himself out of the memories he realized he was crying silently, but he didn't have long to dwell on it. Before his eyes could even focus a fist connected with his jaw and he heard the voice of one very pisswed off Harry Potter. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD! SHE LEFT!"

Blinking wild eyedly, for a moment Snape was looking to try and see how badly he could make this pain go aeway, the guilt he felt go away. Letting Potter kick his ass and maybe kick his ass in the process too, oh the possibilities. But then the words came through and those black eyes widened and then locked on the angry Aurors face. Gone.

Harry, seeing the pensieve in front of the Potions master angrily pulled out his own memory of her leaving. Picking up where Minerva's left off, picking up that 'I'm sorry' as she disappeared.

"No. no no no no no, dear Merlin what have I done." Standing up quickly only to have Harry punch him again, Minerva's yell and bodybind stopping him from taking a third. "Dammit all boy stop! Where would she go... tell me!" Shaking the boy as if he was a babies rattle. Only to be given a glare in return.

"No one fucking knows, 'Snape'. We've checked them all and she's not there, she's not anywhere. She's fucking gone. I'll tell you this one time only, you bloody bastard. You go and find her, you put her back together, or so help me there won't be a matchbox big enough to put the remaining pieces of your body in." The coldness in Harry's words making even the Headmistress gasp, shuddering faintly at it.

Severus' only responce was to look at Minerva and say, "Flitwik has my curriculum. I'll be back as soon as I can." His voice raw and the left side of his face already starting to bruise. But he didn't care. He had to find her.

**Present Day / Eight months Later**

It had taken him forever to figure out where she might go. In the end it was an anonymous message that was delivered by Raven, of a woman with the empty eyes who was working in the library of Delphi, that finally helped him locate her. Having put a glamour on himself the first time he went in, looking like an elderly greek gentleman, he went from section to section until he found the 'restricted' section of the Library. Showing his pass to the man there and slipping inside he began to look row by row for the woman he'd put his life on hold for. WEhen he did find her, the guilt that had racked his soul suddenly intensified three fold. Her once hazel and frizzy hair was now listless and flat. As always her appearance immaculate but the empty eyed gaze not even seemin to find life from the text she studied and read from. Making her notes without ever once looking up when someone passed. Her chocolate colored eyes having a greyish quality to them as if they were slowly losing her color as she lost more of her will. The round full form he'd loved so deeply almost thinner than Narsissa Malfoy, and the deep circles under her eyes giving her an almost crazed look.

Holding his breath for a long moment, he couldn't help but just ... stare. Saying and doing nothing as he watched her from behind. It wasn't until she tapped her nail on the table she was at three times he heard her voice. Gone was the honey sweet silky whisper he loved, ravaged now to a harshness from nights and days he could only assume of crying. "I need my lunch Yetros." When an elf with deep silver eyes and black hair popped in front of her. "Yeth Misthress." Came the thickly lisped answer.

It took only a couple of minutes when the elf popped back into view again and set a strangly separated plate in front of her after moving the papers from her fingers, "Yer paprth ith at 10 oclock... on yer plate, ya gots yer thelery at noon yer carrots at eight, and yer thalad at four. Yer glath o'tea ith at two oclock above the plate. Givnig a faint nod and muttered thanks it was only then he realized, all the books... were in braille. She hadn't been writing, shed' been reading with er fingers.

Taking a breath and holding it, he couldn't help but struggle not to just find the nearest active volcano and throw himself in. He'd heard of instances like this before. Grief and magic being so over whelming it caused some sort of disability. Normally it was something like the loss of magic or their voice. But for her, for the insatiable want of learning everythin she could from book, it was her sight. Sometimes it could be repaired, but as the soul kept shattering so did more things end up being lost. Till it resulted in death.

Slowly slipping out of the library, he knew he needed time to think about this. But first he needed information. Using the transfigured cane to wobble his way towards the front, he gave a toothless grin to the young woman there, "The young woman that's up in the private section. Who is she? She looks like my cousin's grand daughter but I can't be sure."

The woman just gave an indulgent smile and tilted her head faintly, before shockingly enough answering back with an English accent, "Verepa Snusse? Oh yes, she's been here every day since .. oh... about six months now. Isn't is just /HORRIBLE/ about her sight? She just woke up one morning and it was gone. The poor dear. The elves are very accomodating to her, not that she eats much. There's been more than once the elf on duty has had to apparate her home because she fell asleep reading. Such a recluse too! She never says anything to anyone but the House Elves, and she swore them all to secracy." Oh yes, it seemed that now that the door has been opened this woman seemed more than happy to divulge everything. "We've had more than one young man try and pull her away from those books, she never says a thing, but more than one young man is given ice packs by the house elves for either broken noses or black eyes on their way out." Flinching visibly.

He just barely kept himself from laughing outloud at hearing that one and for a moment seemed to think, then it dawned on him as the young woman seemed to think that the old man was fazing out in some sort of senile moment and stepped away. Verepa Snusse. Severus Snape anagrammed. Clever witch, and yet it just kept her tied to him all the more.

The longer he stood there, the more he wanted to just crawl into a cave and never come out. He'd completely destroyed her, and even now with her chosen name, it was him on her mind. Punishment? Or curse to herself? It was hard to tell really. Suddenly the tugging on his sleeve caught his attention as he found himself looking down at the silver eyed elf. His ears flopped forwards, the black hair being tugged on aggrivatedly with his gnarled free hand, "Yer the mithus Mither right? Ya gottha come... come quick! Come.. come!" Breaking out almost into a run, he followed the elf back into the restricted section.

It took him that time in the running to remember, house elves could see through glamour's. And they were known to look intothe minds of the ailling when the symptoms just didn't make sense of their masters illnesses. He didn't have any other time to try and figure out why the elves of the library would be tied to her though. As he ran through only to find her on the floor half on her stomache half on her side, her eyes closed, face grey in it's coloring.

Letting his glamour drop without a care, he pulled the frail witch into his arms after dropping to his knees, "Hermoine. Hermoine, love... you've got to wake up.." Checking for her pulse, and finding it weak, he looked to the elf, "Take us to where she lives. Quickly." Nodding obediently, the elf grabbed on to his shoulder tightly as he held on his witch. A soft popping suddenly dropping them into the library of a large manse.

His manse. The one his mother had left him in Greece that he kept locked up. Apparently she'd reopened it, and was using it, though how she managed to get the elves to listen to her was beyond his understanding. He hadn't been here in so long, it was no wonder he didn't recognize his own elves, if she hadn't hand picked them herself. Setting her on to the couch, he began to first run a diagnostic spell and nodded slowly. Malnutrition and sleep deprivation, vitamin levels were dangerously low, as well as the magical energy seeming to be fluxating between being deathly low and spiking to dangerously high levels.

If he couldn't even her out, she would die within weeks. Merlin help him, he needed to dfind the right answer. Letting one olf take over taking care of his witch, he ran to follow the Elf that had brought them into the potions lab. Pulling out nutrient potions, and recvovery potions, blood repleneshing potions, as wel as a myriad of others. Tears all the while having started to gather in his eyes. It was as he realized he was struggling with all the bottles he'd chosen that the gnarlewd hand rested on his arm. Those silver eyes looking up at him, seeming to stare right into his soul. "Mithreth will be alright now with you 'ere? Yeth?" Seeming to plead lightly. Unable to help the slight hitch in his voice he murmured back gruffly. "I don't know. I'm goin to try... I have to try. I can't lose her again."

Running slowly out of the potions room, he'd forgotten completley about his wand, doing the one thing he'd yelled at so many others for, and not evenseeming to care. Dropping the vials into a pile next to the bed as he began one by one carefully sliding them down Hermoine's throat, massaging her throat to make her swollow. Two hours of this slow process and his crooning whispers filling the room before sitting back into a shadow and just watching wordlessly.

He couldn't lose her now. Not now that he just found her. 


End file.
